it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
