how can u be prego again
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
