i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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