do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
