This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
