I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
