it hurts more in the daytime
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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