all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
