shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
