3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
tell your sister to shave her snatch
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
