If i come over, it means nothing
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Randomize
