im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
