Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
