He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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