i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
