Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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