North Korea, Best Korea!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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