What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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