So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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