it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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