atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I FOUND THE LEGS
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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