They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
