my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
