i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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