he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
