I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
