Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
