maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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