love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
