i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
