I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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