Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
