Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
they're like a gay fantastic four
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize