remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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