If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
