4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
