So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
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