Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
