dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
