my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
