i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dignity is for republicans.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
