Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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