I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You are the jesus of drinking
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The Olympian is in my bed
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
