I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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