you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I have aggressive nipples.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
