does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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