What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Randomize
