Dignity is for republicans.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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