I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
