I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
