she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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