we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
