the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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