well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
