My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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