HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
