we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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