she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
