i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
