no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize