i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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