It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
