You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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