hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
