Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My life is pants optional.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize